Despite Anything
by shslsadawkwardteen
Summary: Meredith has to keep his promise to Elijah but he's having a bit of difficulty following through with it. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, Chapter 13 Spoilers, Rated M for mature language!


**Author's Notes: HUGE CHAPTER 13 SPOILERS and occasional references to Nozmo's blog stuff! **

**That's all, really. Please enjoy!**

"Do it." His breath tickled Meredith's fingers and the pistol in his hand trembled, cowering from the warmth of Elijah's temple.

"Please", he reasoned. "Please, another day. Please, no, I'm not ready at them moment." Minutes upon minutes of uncomfortable silence followed his shaky pleas. Tears burned the surface of his eyes and he tried to speak once again, to fill the silence and prolong the deed. The lump in his throat barely allowed enough air to escape his throat and enter his lungs.

"A few minutes, Elijah" he whispered hoarsely, "I just need...please just a few minutes?" cold sweat loosened his grip on the pistol but he feared holding it tighter lest he pull the trigger and end Elijah's life prematurely. He lowered his gaze, his head tilting farther to the ground, allowing his dark hair to form a curtain around his tired, narrow face. After ten minutes of complete silence the clatter of the pistol broke the scene once void of sound. Meredith's knees hit the ground soon after and no less than minute later, barely audible and undeniably pathetic sounds left his mouth followed swiftly by a couple stray tears. As he remained on the floor, crumpled up, sweating, shaking, slowly growing more miserable as the minutes ticked away, the clicking of dress shoes made their way past Meredith and toward what he assumed was the pistol.

His hot, clammy face rested against the concrete and oh god he wished on everything that Elijah would pick him up and they would leave and this moment would only be another nightmare for Elijah to soothe and kiss and nuzzle away.

He barely heard the footsteps stop in front of him. Meredith only began to flinch at the other's presence when Elijah's larger, warmer hand placed the pistol back in Meredith's bony fingers.

"Meredith" his voice was warm; it held no regret, no anger or evil. It chimed with acceptance and regret and this undeniable relief that forced Meredith's heart to clench.

"Meredith" Elijah repeated, "You remember our promise." He was an utter mess now, shaking as though he were a guilty child under Elijah's crouched shadow kneeling over him like a parent. His hand that now held the gun was raised slowly but surely to Elijah's temple and a nearly content smile grazed his lips,

"You promised, Meredith".

With all of his weight he crashed into Elijah, sufficiently knocking them both onto the floor of the cement roof they stood on. The pistol remained close enough to relay the horrible reminder, but far enough for Meredith to find a menial amount of comfort in Elijah's arms. It was embarrassing how much he was crying at the moment, tears and snot staining the white suit jacket and thin hands punching and grabbing and wrinkling the clothing in animalistic desperation. Gently, he was pushed away before the pistol was once again placed in his hands. Elijah's hand groomed his hair back over his forehead, his fingers gingerly rubbing his scalp to comfort Meredith prior to his own execution.

"Please just" he sniffed loudly, pathetically, and rubbed his nose with the end of his sleeve, "Please turn around, Elijah". The older man chuckled and raised his hands in mock defeat, spinning quickly around and only stiffening when he felt the cold butt of the pistol press against the back of his head. The gun shook and clicked and pressed harder and fierce against the back of Elijah's head

"Meredith" he commented quietly, "before we do this, or, well, during this I guess…might you tell me what we are going to do afterwards?" the pressure of the gun against his head softened and he heard a choked why but chose to ignore it in favor of the story he knew he was going to hear.

"Well, afterwards" Meredith's voice shook so fiercely Elijah feared he may not continue.

"Yes?"

"Afterwards, we'll walk off this roof and throw the gun somewhere far, far away. And we'll go somewhere far from this city-"

"With the intention to pick up Petunia later, of course" he heard a shuddered sigh and a wet cough before a soft 'of course' resonated from Meredith's lips.

"We will go to the countryside like we always said we would, and we would get that country house and we'd learn to do meaningless fun things"

"Of course we would fuck everyday" He heard a small laugh bubbling up from the distraught man behind him and another 'of course' echoed in Elijah's ear.

"And you love me?"

"I love you."

"Despite me being evil"

"Despite anything"

"Despite me making you do this?" his chest tightened momentarily before he heard Meredith sigh shakily.

"Despite anything."

"Please say it. Say it over and over."

"I love you"

"One more time, please?"

He smiled, he was content, he was content even when the bang of the pistol deafened him and the twenty seconds of blinding pain raced through his nervous system and he was the most content repeating Meredith's final word's in his fleeting mind.

"I love you"


End file.
